I have leftover muffins from a school event, and I was telling the kids I'd bring the spares into work. Connor then worried that (# of Muffins) MOD (# of coworkers) was not zero and started to get anxious. Chase said "That's ok, she can just give the leftover muffins to the NICE co-workers"
Connor asked "What if they're all nice?"
Chase allowed that this was a possibility, as he always feels welcome when he visits.
"In that case", he decided, "just give the extras to the row with the same number of people as there are extras, so that no one is sad when they see someone get an extra muffin."
Naturally, this engendered a discussion about the high probability of the remainder of muffins being != to the number of people on the rows that we have.
I guess I won't tell them that I'm just going to leave them in the break room for anyone to eat. (Sorry, Manirith, wish you were here!)
Just found out that Chase took some money off of Connor's hands for the promise of an undetermined favor later. It surprises me neither that Chase went into this kind of business, nor that Connor took him up on that deal.
I told the kids that they could not trade money with one another, or with any other kids for that matter. I told Connor he was silly for giving away money for nothing. Chase was mightily offended - "NOT NOTHING - I was going to do something really good for him!" I asked what he'd planned on doing, and he said that he didn't know, but it was going to be REALLY GOOD.
It's looking more and more like politics are in the future for Chase, though. I'm sorry, future world!
Today I asked Connor to run and get a book of his so I could show it to another mom, wondering if her son might like one for a gift. After we were done looking at the book, my son grabbed it and was clearly on his way to show his friend.
I said "Nope nope nope, Connor, take it to your room, right now!"
Connor was a bit frantic "But mom, I want to show it to. . . "
"NOPE, Wel'll talk about it later, take it to your room!!! Just trust me!"
"But! But!!" he sputtered, as he spun in circles a few times in confusion, then went to do my bidding. I was very much reminded in this IT Crowd scene which culminates in someone loudly saying "Why are you giving me the secret shut-up signal??" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqOf1_a5Z2w&t=6m53s)
Later, I explained to him that it was supposed to be a surprise for his friend, and he says "I *know*!" in an offended tone of voice indicating that it was his idea all along to give it to his friend as a gift. I said "Well, sorry, but based on your reaction, I thought you hadn't figured it out!"
He said "Oh, I hadn't. But then just now you told me, so now I know!"
I guess that's how he will respond to every factual statement uttered in his hearing, then, since by the time it is his turn to talk, he will know the fact uttered. I just figured I'd fill you guys in to cut down on confusion.
A bit of a departure from my usual topic, but this made such an impression on me that I must share.
I was taking a break from work at the dentist today, getting my semi-annual cleaning. The ceiling-TV was showing its usual daytime-fare. . . chefs cooking healthy foods with improbable ingredient combinations and interviews with people whose children have endured horrible illnesses. Maybe this is true of all TV, but without the benefit of TiVo, I found that about 1/3 of the air time was devoted to advertising other such shows in different time slots. It would have been annoying if I were interested in what was happening on the show itself.
My hygienist is a talker. I don't mind so much because I am not required to participate in the conversation (unlike at the hair-dresser, where I feel that I'm obligated to do something other than grunt, or else risk a terrible hair cut, borne of boredom and bitterness.) She does a good job of keeping up a constant one-sided conversation, intermixing her stories with reactions to what she's hearing on the TV. It adds an element of randomness that almost makes it feel like a shared conversation instead of a prepared recitation of life-anecdotes.
She's extremely detail-oriented, so it seemed like I was in the chair forever. At one point, she said "Ahh, I hear Dr. P going off with a bunch of dental-talk that I'm sure is going right over the patient's head! He really loves to talk about teeth. I don't think people want to hear the technical details of how teeth work. Although I guess some people just think they're dentists themselves and like to hear it, har har." It's things like this that make me think that I might not like hanging out with her very much - I pretty much like to hear about whatever anyone finds fascinating. I'm a nerd's nerd. I would rather have heard about the way the various mouth parts work than her angst about moving in with her boyfriend, or her vacation plans for June. But all I did was grunt, because that's all I had to do!
Then Dr. P came to examine my mouth for defects. I noticed that as soon as he sat down, he positioned the light so that it was between my face and the screen, and I could no longer enjoy the 20-day-swimsuit make-over segment that happened to be on. I conjectured that he was so happy to be looking in random mouths all day that he had no interest in what was on the TV, and so assumed that no one else was interested in the TV either. I live with people who can't imagine people being interested in things they aren't interested in, so I felt I understood the guy.
He started going off about how enamel can heal itself using salts from food/toothpaste/seawater/whatever, and my hygienist, standing behind him, rolled her eyes and gave me a "I-told-you-so!" look. I smiled at her sympathetically, sorry that this person has to spend all her time around people who are interested in teeth, of all things.
In the middle of a detailed explanation of how salt crystals form up to fill in cracks in enamel, Dr. P cuts himself off and pauses his examination to whip his head around and stare agog at the TV, which is now showing an advertisement for the network's morning show, which will apparently be filmed in Hawaii next week.
"Hawaii?!??!" he gasped.
I was expecting him to go off on the vapidness of the shows at this stage. In my mind, he was about to say "Hawaii?? Why would they film a morning show on location in Hawaii? How do the hosts being there, having a good time, help the viewers have a good time? Most people have heard of Hawaii by the time they're watching morning television, and have some idea about whether they'd like to go there or not. Do the viewers feel such a connection with these plastic people that they can think 'Aw, that's so nice. My friend on TV is getting to do their job from Hawaii. I'm happy for them, it must be nicer than doing their job from a set in NYC. And perhaps the time zone difference makes it that much better for them - they can wake up at something approaching a much more reasonable hour. I always felt bad that they have to get up so early!'"
But instead he said (nearly verbatim) "Hawaii?? Weren't they just IN Hawaii, like last month??? How often do they need to go to Hawaii? I guess if the network is paying for it, then why not? But why not go somewhere different?"
So it appears I was wrong about Dr. P. He has unplumbed depths. You can like both teeth and morning shows, who knew?
Connor asked me out of the blue what day of the week the Titanic sank on; probably there was something about the centennial at school. (Anyone else find it oddly appropriate that it sank on April 15th?)
We were in the car, and Siri wasn't cooperating, so I broke out Conway's mental method to figure it out. But instead of doing it all in my head, I had the kids do the individual arithmetic steps. ("What's 12 + 3? If you're counting by 4's, how many numbers until you get to 12? What's 15 + 3? If you're counting by 7's, what's the biggest number you get to before going past 18? What's 18-14?" etc).
Once we got to the answer (April 15th, 1912 was a Monday, btw. It hit the iceberg Sunday night just before midnight), I started to explain how I came up with those particular math problems. I got as far as "So the first thing you need to do is...", and then Connor finished my sentence with "...be a big geek."
My own son. And he's one to talk!
But really, of course, he has no idea. Hopefully he can come to terms with exactly how big a geek his Dad is once he's old enough to actually care. :)
Well, I never have to worry about the kids breaking their arms, because they are so very excellent at breaking falls with their faces. For the second time, Connor has experienced somewhat extreme dental trauma.
The first time, his adult tooth was so loosened that we feared it would come out (this was accompanied by him nearly biting through his upper lip.) That made for a really fun drive from Duluth to East Cobb to Dunwoody to Roswell and back to East Cobb again in tornado weather.
At least the weather was nice for driving today. This time, he jammed his other adult front tooth VERY NOTICEABLY up into his gum. Lots of blood and agony and me nearly losing my lunch. I have a proven inability to cope with gum damage. Fortunately I did NOT throw up all over the receptionist's desk and computer this time.
The good news is that the dentist believes he'll be OK. He may get some discoloration, but he doesn't think he will. The tooth's root is still maturing, so there's a chance it will grow back down. Even if it doesn't, he's getting braces anyway, so they'll pull it back down. Crossing my fingers it doesn't go bad and require a root canal.
Thanks to Mark for calling the dentist for me as I was heading that way.
Thanks so much to Roswell Pediatric Dentistry for keeping staff there to see us after hours (or for calling in the on call dentist, I'm not sure.) Anyway, there were no clients there, but there were three dental assistants and the dentist to see us right away, and I'd only given them 20 minutes notice.
And I apologize to any one of the drivers I tailgated on the way there. But come on!! I think the people in homes adjacent to the road must have heard Connor screaming! Have a little heart!!
We headed to the mountains for the weekend to hang with Jason and Abigail. It was a lot of fun! I'd never been to a cabin before, and we've all been so busy that we've had trouble spending quality time with my favorite brother and sister.
The kids were really happy the entire time even though they never left the cabin. They invented several games to be played on the pool table. I approved of "Hands" and "Armor", and not so much of "Sticks" or actual pool game rules, as those last two involved cues, and my kids are not so great at being aware of what they're going to hit with any large objects they're swinging around.
We enjoyed s'mores made in the fireplace. We also enjoyed watching Jason craft excellent fires out of sticks and wood and a lighter. I discovered some years ago that fire building is more difficult than it looks. We sent Connor out to get some sticks for roasting marshmallows. He ventured about 5 feet outside the front door into the parking area, then came back in and declared the woods stick-less. For some people, finding even hay in a hay-stack is too much to ask, it would seem.
The kids also really loved the hot tub. I was thinking Chase wouldn't like it, but after he got over his initial bubbling-water trepidation, he took to it like a fish to water, or like a communicable disease to hot tubs, if I was to believe any of the many many warning notices about hot tub sanitation rules.
All in all, a great time. The quote of the weekend has to be Jason giving Connor advice, after the third time or so that Connor totally lost his s*** because he thought a moth might get close to him. "Connor, you are one smart-phone-with-a-camera away from becoming the subject of an Internet viral video. You better get it together!"
Thanks, Jason and Abigail, hopefully we can make that a thing!